1. The “blink mind’s” brilliance rises to a new level when we hear it speak, giving verbal feedback on specific issues in a distinctly unique language.

  2. The discovery that patients communicate with therapists in “blink” language opened the door to other important relationships.

  3. We have now discovered that in wide-ranging everyday life situations people communicate with each other in “blink” language. The “blink mind” gives verbal feedback—wherever people are trying to guide themselves or others in better directions.

    Kids guide parents to set healthy boundaries for them; coaches communicate with players for better or worse depending upon the coaches’ blind spots; guilty criminals confess in “blink” language to authorities despite their conscious mind’s strong cover-up efforts; politicians secretly communicate with the public revealing strengths or weaknesses—even instructing the public on who is the better candidate.

  4. It (DI) identifies three basic universal needs all based on strong, distinct boundaries. And these principles remain amazingly consistent across various cultures. Perhaps best understood in family terms, leaders, in this case parents, are asked by their children to (1) Give me stability, give me a home, give me my own place in that home which creates security inside me;1 (2) Let me express my talents, be myself, do my part—autonomous or independent achievement; (3) Show me integrity: if you say you’re going to give me stability or autonomy, do it. Don’t let your actions contradict your words either taking over my responsibility for me or undermining our home.

    These rules all apply to another leader, in this case a therapist. Once we have this “life lens” we can see how our most basic needs are being met, or not met, by our leaders in politics or business.

  5. It (DI) reveals a universal fear that tries to control all human beings. Deep down we have an unconscious “fearful intelligence” which battles the “deeper intelligence.” The fearful intelligence consistently tries to take the easy way out and is irrationally terrified of clear boundaries by which a person needs to live.

  6. It constantly guides us toward wiser decisions—and to overcome the fearful intelligence.

  7. The bottom line: “Boundaries win over no boundaries.” (Looking at multiple situations in many different areas this pattern will become strikingly clear—because we are looking at dynamic life giving principles of human behavior.)

We ask, “Where does the ‘blink mind’ come into play?” The answer: wherever people interact and particularly when they have a goal in mind—for you and for themselves.

1. A home by design has strong boundaries—both for the family as a whole (shared rooms) and rooms for individuals: how a child learns about her unique individual identity within a secure family.